a beautiful mess

In my Early Childhood training in college, we were constantly taught that childhood was about the process, not the result. This is really hard for me. It's hard to find "joy in the journey" and easy to get bogged down by the constant mis-fires of parenting. At the end of the day usually all I can see or think about is what I didn't get accomplished.
The last few weeks have been particularly challenging. We've all taken turns being sick. I get stuck in the house for days at a time, and it shows. The house is a mess. We are all restless and irritable. I'm exhausted. As my Mom says, "I'm up to my armpits in alligators."

Today I was really feeling it. And then I remembered something I heard, from someone who really knows. I've read and heard this article numerous times and consciously tried to store it in my scattered brain for days like today:

"If you have children who are grown and gone, in all likely hood you have occasionally felt the pangs of loss and the recognition that you didn't appreciate that time of your life as much as you should have.... If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware

that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface,

the toys scattered about the house,

the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will - to your surprise- miss them profoundly."

{Finding Joy in the Journey, Thomas S. Monson. Ensign, November 2008}

I've spent too much time worrying about what I missed during the day, that I really missed it. Yeah, my house is still a mess. The laundry is still waiting to be done. And the kids are still sick. But...Bailey learned to tie her shoes today. Benson learned to successfully clear his dishes off the table without breaking or throwing them. And Brynley said "muh" (more) and "zdd" (slide) purposely, for the first time.

And that made it worth it all.

{and this post is to remind me}